Author: alterego

Abbropriate

ab.bro.pri.ate

adjective |əˈbrōprē-it|

  1. Sufficiently manly in the circumstances: In spite of the 3 feet of snow on the sidewalk, Chad felt it was entirely abbropriate to walk to Burger King in shorts and sandals, because, you know, global warming or whatever.

verb |-ˌāt|

  1. To distort the meaning of something innocuous: The well-intentioned fundraising campaign was quickly abbropriated by internet morons.
  2. To take something for one’s own use, typically without the owner’s permission: I’m sorry Mr. Kroeger, but under the power vested in me by the state of Rock and Roll I’m going to have to abbropriate your guitar.
  3. To devote money or assets to a special purpose: The gentlemen of Alpha Delta Epsilon were scandalized when one of their pledges was found to have been abbropriating fraternity scholarship funds for his private dance lessons.

DERIVATIVES

  • inabbropriate (adjective): “Hey bro you wanna go check out 50 Shades Darker with me?” “Dude; inabbropriate.”

Portmanbreau

port.man.breau |pôrtˈmanbrō|

noun

  1. A cylindrical carrying case used by exercise enthusiasts, typically divided into two or more compartments.  Contents may include deodorant, protein powder, and denim cut-offs.

    nike-ya-tt-sporttas-small
    High capacity for all your bodybuilding accoutrements.
  2. A word or concept constructed from two or more separable entities and having to do with dudes and/or bros.  See: this blog.

ORIGIN

From mid 16th century French: porter ‘to carry’, man ‘dude’, breau ‘bro’; literally “to carry all your dude shit, bro!”

Brophylactic

bro.phy.lac.tic |ˌbrōfəˈlaktik|

adjective

  1. Intended to reduce brotient: Concerned about the growing number of males on the dance floor, the bar manager instructed the DJ to play Beyoncé, a reliable brophylactic intervention.

noun

  1. A medicine or course of action which repels bros: Tired of getting hit on at the grocery store, Janice began wearing a fake engagement ring as a brophylactic while shopping. 
  2. A person (male or female) who actively interferes as their female friend is courted by a male.  See also: cock-block

DERIVATIVES

  • brophylactically (adverb): In retrospect, Elise realized that the chili-garlic-bean-burrito was, brophylactically speaking, a regrettable pre-date meal.

Karabroke

kar.a.bro.ke |ˌkarēˈbrōkē|

noun

  1. A form of social entertainment in which a group of merrymakers sing “Living On A Prayer” to a backing track, and when it hits the really high part all participants emit high-pitched shrieks in complete dissonance.

ORIGIN

1986: from Japanese, literally ‘slippery when wet.’

Karabroke Brodown 2012 was a night neither stag nor stagette would forget to remember.

Brotient

bro.tient |ˈbrō sh ənt|

noun

  1. A quantitative measure, a ratio calculated with the following formula:

    Equation 1: Calculation of a brotient
  2. A qualitative, subjective measure: Michael Bay’s Transformers shattered box office records thanks, in part, to its impossibly high brotient.

Notes on usage: The intended form of measurement may be unclear in some circumstances.  For example: the Black Keys concert may have had a roughly equal distribution in gender, but the event’s brotient skyrocketed when the mosh pit started.  Conversely, a sausage fest has, by definition, a very high numerical brotient; the atmosphere, however, may or may not be overtly testosterone-heavy.  Take care to provide necessary context to avoid confusion.